#every artist does things differently
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Omg there is something that is like nothing else when you listen to music that inspired your favorite artists and you can hear exactly what must have most excited them about the music and what elements they took with them and worked into their own art in different ways and you can hear that and then you think about how what they did with all those elements and their own original ideas in their own music that inspired you and other artists and how of course the musicians that inspired them were inspired by other artists that were their favorites and you think about that thread of inspiration and admiration and love that's running through all this different stuff that people create and just omg i have to sit down i'm dizzy
#very obvious statement but there's just something that gets me really excited when i sit down and listen closely and think about all the#commonalities and similarities and i can hear specific stuff that must have influenced them and like. idk it does give you a much deeper#appreciation for an artist if you listen to a wide variety of stuff theyve cited as influential cos then you get this like whole map#and you can see how these different parts went to make up the whole and what they did with them and stuff#It's also like idk its like how people are made up of all the little parts of other people theyve met of course every musician is this#mosaic of all the stuff they've listened to and liked and gotten really excited by and it's sooooo beautiful like wowwww. wow#like when you look at the pieces and it makes sense how it fits into the overall thing and then its beautiful to do this too because you#find stuff you really really love as well in its own right obviously but aueghhhhhhh yeah yeah. yeah
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alas, turns out grad school is hard so i haven't been drawing much of anything BUT. now. some side characters for yall
#original#ocs#art#satyrs#artists on tumblr#character design#Heiti Varrater#Tcham Bakome#Angus Singh#HAII. i've needed to design these 3 in particular for EVER. finally i have done eet#i actually. really REALLY like how bakome turned out. he looks FANTASTIC#bang on with this guy. he looks great#also rlly like how singh turned out. that dude is singh for sure#heiti.... she's giving me problems. as she does best#this is her 2nd design now and it's better than my first but theres something still missing. idk what#ill probably continue to refine her with time#grouping her with these 2 is kinda odd cause like. she has nothing to do with them other than being in the same general storyline#like she never really meets them?? maybe once for a brief period. idk i havent thought about it much#they're on different ships. theyre doin different things#but theyre all side characters that are relatively important SO. put them together#ive resigned to just. drawing humans with pointy ears. bcause why the fuck wouldnt i#every other species gets fun ears. give humans some point to em why not#there is a. range. of feelings about these guys#LOVE heiti. she sucks (affectionate). she's fantastic. obsessed with her#bakome has lots going on and im not even sure of most of it. but he is VERY interesting and he occupies a cool middle space of like.#doing no harm but preventing no harm either. doing no harm but allowing harm to be done. he has morality but he turns the other way#idk. i like him and i think he borders on sucks but either way he's interesting#and then there singh. god he sucks. he sucks so bad. worst of em all. captain worst#the harm that is being done is allowed by him because hes the captain and that's if hes not just doing it himself. fuck that guy#i do think hes fun tho. hes. a little flatter than bakome rn but hes still got SOME interesting stuff going on. just a lil
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every time i see someone call tron 'cyberpunk', i lose ten years off my lifespan
#note to self literally never read letterboxd reviews of movies i like i cant do it anymore kdjfgkdssd#say you saw the movie and the plot and visuals went right over your head without saying it#like. in what world is tron dystopic?? cyberpunk in itself is an offshoot of dystopian fiction. tron is not about an imagined future#tron is about an imagined PRESENT. thinking about our PRESENT relationship with technology in relation to the times each film was released#tron is in equal measures hopeful and critical about technology. that is NOT cyberpunk#the only CyberPunk that matters in tron is the Tron2.0 character of the same name#i will admit that tron's plot is cyberpunk derived but its. idk man its not the same thing#thematically its different. visually i think tron shares developmental artists with blade runner where the cyberpunk visual stereotype was#- established#but blade runner is more pure cyberpunk thematically than tron is. does that make any sense#and. and. listen to me. i am number one retrofuture fan. i love syd mead. i love moebius. but listen. just because they worked on tron -#- does NOT mean tron is thematically OR visually retrofuturistic either!! the visuals match the time it was made!! thats not retrofuturism!#thats normal scifi based on the every day!!!#tron is a sandbox and at the end of the day anyone can do whatever they want its all just for fun#at the same time. the entire story of tron is being severely misrepresented when labelled as cyberpunk. and it makes me sad#these are very shallow thoughts i just miss literary thematic analysis sometimes. my film studies classes cannot come soon enough#rex speaks
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been doing some internal questioning that boils down to “is it the auADHD or i am plural in some way???”
and i’m. not sure if i want to know the answer. at least not yet.
#ensiger#possibly plural#this post is brought to you by a monoconscious culture post that hit a lot harder than i thought it would#'wait how long have i been me. when did i stop being the other guy'#also a lot of the Dragonheart Collective's essay points in Dissociation. & internal thought voice.#the only point in Identity disturbances that really hit was -#Feeling like you weren't born in that body & that you simply appeared one day inside of it.#like. i sometimes feel like ''I'' is more than one internally.#like i'm One Person in the way a cartoon character can be animated/storyboarded by multiple artists.#does that make sense as like?? a plural thing???#or is that just the depersonalization & bees in my brain??#also that like. the 'current me' stepped into my body & 'replaced' whoever used to be here. i have (most) of my memories & shit but just.#i'm not totally sure if this is a 'i have grown and changed since i was a child' or 'i'm a different person in every sense of the word.'#i kind of stewed on this questioning a couple years(?) ago when i was first learning about multiplicity. but nothing ever really came of it#bc digging further into it didn't feel useful. all the stuff i was reading didn't feel like it was lining up with what's going on in here#i've recently been doing some reading on monoconscious & median systems but.#i don't want to act on anything until i Know. or at least until i Know More.#also i'm about 90% sure my kintypes are not headmates/alters/etc. they feel like / similar to my gender & not. ''extra Me's'' so to speak
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reminiscing on the period where i didnt know sawashiro was modeled after ttm and the second i learned and embraced that it 1000% altered the way i drew him These Are Not The Same Bitch
#snap chats#i still remember the day someone inboxed me that fact like ik i mention this story every three seconds but its still so funny#like The Beginning Of The End For Me <- i became somehow even more wacko#thank you for singlehandedly changing the trajectory of films and movies id watch for months anon ill cherish you forever#this post is brought to you by one of my fave artists being like. with whatever jpn knowledge i have to translate.#'if i draw sawashiro as a man in his 50's it wont look like ttm... im glad he's a beautiful girl...'#LIIIIIIIKKKEEE SO TRUE BESTIE.... ttm is the prettiest girl ive ever seen this is true#the cool thing about ttm is that he has incredible range however this does not negate the fact he is Very Pretty#this just a restated version of that post i made the other day LMAO LIKE MECHANICALLY ttm can play sawashiro. very well even#And I Repeat rgg not committing to making 90's sawa look like ttm in his 30's was Majorly To Their Benefit#he can have the voice of a no-bullshit yakuza yet he still has the face of an angel its very funny all things considered#on the real tho its so funny like i only drew sawashiro like. idk five times before actually referencing pics of ttm#yet the difference is like night and day he ACTUALLY looks like a jackass. and much older than 38 BYE#its 1000% the lips. and the doe-like eyes but anyways im sick#i love being seen i love being heard... thank you how_to_open#i should redraw my first sawa drawing... or second.... my first sawa drawing was the one with masato im p sure#the second one's just a headshot so it'd be a better focus on how i draw sawashiro differently.. lol...#its like when rgg recasts a chara and their model just different as hell. amazing.#srry i mention how pretty ttm is eveyr three seconds this isnt healthy and ill stop until im reminded of the fact later on#ok bye i have to take an exam. “”“”“take an exam”“”“”“ all of the answers are on google BYE
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and i love drawing women looking evil as much as the next guy. don't get me wrong. but that with a girlbossifying caption really seems to be the entirety of people's analysis sometimes lol
#joshathan.txt#the only thing worse than ignoring female characters is girlbossifying them#reduce all their characterization into one snappy quirky caption about how war crimes are feminism#always the same same same 'god forbid women do anything' shit in between paragraphs and paragraphs of male character analysis#why is that? why is every messy complicated female character the fucking same to you?#none of this is directed at anyone specific i just. i see this from so many people in so many different fandoms#artists writers people who are into character and plot analysis just. everywhere. it's so fucking pervasive#god forbid women BE A FUCKING CHARACTER WHO DOES ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!#WITHOUT PEOPLE JUMPING TO FLATTEN THEM OUT INTO THE SAME BLAND NOTHING
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i am SO fucking exhausted by mainstream media opinions lately and i don't understand why they're frequently SO different from my own? like i genuinely don't think i am approaching anything from that unique of a perspective as a viewer? maybe it's just that i'm too easy to please when it comes to stories or something but like. how is the mainstream, widely accepted consensus on yellowjackets season 2 is that it's "bad" and "doesn't work as a season" and is "riddled with problems." literally what the fuck are you talking about. this is the most fun i have had watching television uhhhhh literally Ever? you're telling me people hated Burial? how? why? like i don't...i just don't GET it. and i'm not playing dumb for kicks here im like genuinely honest to god confused. that was the single best episode of television I've ever watched in my life. like i get that people have different opinions about things and that's fine but HOW am i in the minority here what am i missing
#most of the critiques I've seen are that it 'focused on the adults too much' and was 'too weird' re: mistys sequence#like??? that was clearly supposed to be funny and campy and silly and artistic and a twin peaks homage?#and the 'focusing on the adults' i... i mean i guess some people are just here for the '96 mystery#and are completely uninterested in the psychological effects it had on all the characters?#i guess some people don't?? care??? about watching them wrestle with that trauma and go on to try to have lives#after something like that?#but like. that's the entire point of the show though. if you hate that why are you watching it every week#with enough investment to like. blog about it and put energy into writing whole ass thinkpieces#so much of media criticism these days boil down into 'i wish this show was Not the show that it is'#'i wish it was this other show that im writing with my twitter mutuals'#and like that's fine and fun and cool and valid and that's what fic is for! but a show isnt BAD for committing to itself and its own vision#like. there is something sooo sexy abt a piece of media that is so wholly itself that you have to meet it where it is#and judge it by its own metric#it creates a whole new unique lens for each and every thing you love! quit comparing apples and oranges!#it's SO fucking fun analyzing different pieces of media through the lens of their own little world and conventions#and guiding principles and plot pacing and what they choose to emphasize and their genre conventions and etc etc#it's FUN! and not to sound like a pretentious film bro dipshit but like why does it seem like this is a dying art these days#'s2 is boring' THEY. THEY ATE A PERSON. ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME THING
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The thing about a lot of the purity culture stuff is how it's also propped up by the anti-intelectualism. Which is how you get people earnestly Charlie-day-cork-board style arguing why anything they don't like has incest subtext, while insulting anyone who actually cares about analyzing real incest subtext.
It's also hard to do any serious analysis of the state of queer works, when the well has been so thoroughly poisoned between prople policing who gets to write/enjoy it, vs writers who see regular engagement with the premise of their writing as a threat.
#Like it's just surreal to read something with serious incestuous implications then go online#And it's verboten to even acknowledge it or you are evil - but reading the thing with incest subtext is fine bc it doesn't exist nope#Meanwhile the same fandom has wanked two unrelated characters into “like incest” but only if you ship them#And don't let my pfp fool you this isn't just about one fandom this has happened in every other fandom I've been in the last few years#I feel like I am losing my fucking mind lol#And yeah it does seem to be unfortunately related to how people see “representation”#Bc you will see people basically arguing that exploring queerness through fiction is inherent fetishization#Unless it's conforming to their strict Disney S&P department standards#And that this is to protect queers and stop the spread of ...degeneracy...yeah that is just 80's sex wars garbage lol#Meanwhile the primary argument made against this will be to claim that writing queer works is inherently radical#Regardless of context or quality or artist#And that they deserve praise and that criticism is just being a hater and those fags should be grateful to their genius actually and -#yeah that is just more conservative bullshit in a different hat#No you are not beyond reproach bc of your subject matter or identity no subject matter or identity are not inherently damning#It just feels like both of these “sides” are artificial and astroterfed so that we all lose either way#And I am so done with it lol like wtf why is everyone like this now
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am I the only one who, for some reason, thought the Warhammer 40K series played like X-COM and not like an FPS?
but also at the same time I didn't even know there were video games of it, I thought it was like a TTRPG, I have never felt this confused about a series I've never touched before lolol
#delete later#honestly the only thing I DO recall learning about this series was a while ago watching some RP video on youtube#the guy apparently couldn't *actually* do a Warhammer themed thing cuz copyright or C&D notices or smth#but all I remember was like........ space vampires???? he was huffin a blood bong in like the first 5 minutes LOL#actually on second thought maybe I'm mixing it up with something else sdgjhgjsdf I must sound insane I stg#there's an artist I liked on twitter who im p sure does warhammer fanart tho... like... 80% certain#anyway it seems 100% too daunting to try and figure out/get into so i doubt it's for me but this is fine#i just find it funny every time I seem to hear about it out of the blue it's in a different format/medium#maybe I will look into it tomorrow... 6am is NOT the time to go down a rabbit hole via wikipedia lmao
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i love christian lee hutson so unbelievably much but his music makes me so suicidal ive fully had to stop listening to him
#i literally sob every time i hear one of his songs that isnt like. get the old band back together#i wrote rubberneckers to finish off that sentence and deleted it bc even rubberneckers makes me cry#it’s bc im getting better#before i started my current antidepressants he was one of my top artists#i would still listen to him every single day of my life if i could but im not mentally strong enough for that#like bffr if im breaking down to rubberneckers my ass is NOT going to make it through keep you down or god forbid age difference#i get so sad whenever i think about it bc i love him and his music and artistry more than i could ever comprehend#but i turn into a sobbing wreck whenever i listen to any of his songs and then feel existential for hours afterwards#so for the sake of my own mental wellbeing i try not to listen to him as much anymore#no other artist does this to me not even phoebe or conan#it’s a curse truly#christian lee hutson i love you#and i don’t want you to change even if it means i cannot listen to a single thing you sing#will just resign myself to occasional listening parties whenever something big and emotional happens in my life like tonight#the most underrated artist in existence#if clh has 0 fans then i am dead#christian lee hutson#tilda rambling
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it's funny, I was talking to someone last night who didn't really know what an illustrator was. so when I introduced myself as one, he gave a speech that would've probably gone over well with a gallery artist, but which was precision-tailored to make any illustrator within a 50 mile radius go into eyes-glowing-red kill mode.
his speech was about how there is a difference between craft and art, and how people can practice craft (as in, skillfully execute a painting) without it having any artistic merit.
so I'm someone who gets paid to paint waffles for restaurant menus and dinosaurs for museums exhibits, and AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHH! you can't make art without it being something something you've made. does that make sense? like every illustrator I know has an individual way of approaching any given imagery that is informed by a lifetime of inspiration, and of passive intake of culture, and of the specific mistakes they make because of whatever their particular mass of grey matter deems as important thing to render or unimportant, just fuck it up.
I can make something that is informed by both a century of Canadian print-making and by my own particular neurosis, and it can also be commissioned commercial imagery that I regurgitate without care because I want to pay my mortgage. everything is art, nothing isn't art, art is something sticky and impossible to shake off of you.
anyway he got very wide-eyed and said "I'm sorry if I offended you," so today I feel a bit bad for having gotten so, uh.... excited.
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everyone should attempt an artisan craft at some point in their life because it would cut down the number of comments questioning why handmade goods like ceramics or textile craft or woodworking are so expensive
and this is an unrealistic expectation, but I think the attempt should include seeing through to the end at least one "finished" item, no matter how clumsy or lumpy your first attempts might be. like to me, there's a huge difference in perspective between attempting to learn how to crochet or throw a pot for a few days, acknowledging that it's harder than it looks and giving up, versus committing to finishing that scarf or clay pot you started and working on it for weeks while you painstakingly learn from your mistakes and grow attached to your project while also simultaneously hating it.
once you finish the latter, your perspective changes from "why does this crocheted blanket cost $200" to "holy shit I can't believe they're charging $200 for this crocheted blanket instead of $2000" because you may have known crocheting is hard, you may have easily agreed with the idea that "handmade goods take time and effort" even before attempting a craft, but now you know firsthand the absolute time sink it takes to make things. like yeah dude, that one item took you 2 months to make and probably wasn't even an ultra complex item if it was the first thing you made, now imagine attaching an hourly wage to that time to calculate the cost (and this is ignoring every nuance of the artistic element and master crafters being able to work faster/charge higher because of their years and years of experience)
anyway this rant has been motivated by a comment I saw on someone else's ceramic post asking why a mug was $60 and they understand it's handmade but $60 just seems overpriced, and bro do you know how long ceramics take to make. that mug probably took at minimum 3 weeks between how long it takes to throw the mug, dry partially, trim the mug, dry fully, bisque fire, wait a day for the kiln to cool, sand and paint and glaze, glaze fire, wait a day for the kiln to cool, take product photography of the mug, write description and list the mug online for sale, im not even including the skill needed to complete all these steps without the mug literally exploding or collapsing while also making it an appealing piece of art, aaaaaaaaaaaaa
#$60 is overpriced my ass#if I priced my ceramics by the exact number of hours they took literally no one would buy anything#holding up a plate like oh yeah I started this in uhhhhhhhhhhh august and it finished in december#wrote this intending it to be a rant and delete post but im sending it out into the world
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guy who has been getting really into character acting and focusing on it in their comic work: really appreciate the character acting in here. loving expressions. enjoying the poses.
#it feels silly to say HOWEVER i've seen a few ppl discuss how it seems there's been a somewhat noticeable loss#of highly considered character acting in some more recent comics. this isnt to say this is a current time exclusive issue of course#many many many comics through every single era of existence have had extremely unconsidered character acting#where expressions and body language are simply not considered. it is in fact very much a skill to do good character acting#like it's easy to do in a very basic sense everyone can. but to do it particularly well is on the same level of making it feel#like characters are TRULY interacting and touching on a page physically. which like seems easy. seems like everyone drawing can do it.#but once you see it REALLY pulled off especially well your standards get raised. and you notice little things like that a lot more.#what feels truly interactive vs what looks interactive vs what feels like placing stickers on top of each other.#which again. everyone can notice. but it also is a skill for sure built up over time.#but anyways. it's on that level where you start to notice what feels like just a throwaway pose bc someone needs a character standing#vs that character really would have their hands on their hips or arms crossed bc it fits who they are. silly as it sounds#it's like posture. not every character is the type to idly arm cross or hip hold the way others will stand up straight while others slouch#choosing if a character leans forward with their chest vs with their hips. do they typically keep themselves open? closed off? etc#it sounds silly to take so seriously. but like. it is a skill. it really is.#it is one that can take a character from just someone you have a sense of thru the text and can see them on a page#to feeling like you know them bc you see their mannerisms in tandem with their personality all in what the text is telling you.#so having the skill to nicely handle both subtle and exaggerated expressions and posing really does make a difference!!!#it really elevates it.#sorry to be so silly about all this i know it isnt that serious but i dont know. i like expression my admiration of it.#every artist can do character acting. but it is still in fact a skill to handle it really well bc not everyone does#i think my good hater example is like. why i have some bleh feelings towards certain popular pump it out fast webtoon styles.#bc it's so pump it out quick (which is another issue entirely) it loses a lot of stuff like this. characters are slapped onto a page#with slapped on expressions. and it feels like character acting isn't super considered. like theyre drawn fine and stuff.#but it doesnt always feel fit to the character or the situation etc etc from stuff i've seen.#like would a character express and stand like that? or is that just ur default go to bc it's a very easy way to show that.#silly nitpick but it's a real one i think that is valid to consider#and disclaimer no not all of them are like that clearly. but i dont think it's a close to zero number either. from my observations.
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tell my we i just got a strangely pro-ai blog on my dash-
#the post itself wasn’t pro-ai but i checked their blog and jesus christ#im sorry but typing words into a prompt box does not make u a writer/artist#by that logic if i had actually written that zukka prompt my dear mutual gave me he would actually have been the writer not me#bcz he sent the idea in my dms#which uhhh no the pnly thing u get from writing a prompt for someone/something is being the idea maker#u might get credited in the notes of the fic as the inspiration or smthn but ur not the cowriter#and yes copywriter laws are flawed and hurt fic writers but the concept of them in general yk is kinda necessary#considering what used to happen before them (yk blatant content theft of wild precautions weren’t taken)#like i’m not an expert in copyright but having it absolutely makes sense#there’s a difference between someone seeing ur work and being inspired to write smthn abt it#and actually taking parts of it and claiming it as ur own#especially considering it takes NO WORK TO “MAKE” AI STUFF#like again i’m sorry but it rlly isn’t ur art if u just type into a prompt box for it#and sure ppl LOVE to bring up disabled ppl to claim that it’s “helping us” but stfu#as a disabled person who’s disabilities make it hard to draw/write sometimes shut up and stop using us as an excuse to steal content#i could open up chat gpt or whatever and type in prompts all day and put out a hundred fics every week if i wanted to#but they wouldn’t be mine#u can call urself a creative if u don’t actually do the creative process#like is it hard? yeah but that’s part of writing/art for everyone#it’s hard and practicing WILL make u better at it even if ur disabled#there are tools out there to help u make ur own art/stories that don’t require theft#and yeah it can be frustrating when u can’t write/draw bcz ur brain/body says lol no :) but the solution to that has never been “get#something else to write it for me and then claim it’s my own :)” or whatever#look if u wanna use ai to get a reference pose or smthn go for it#no stealing there and references can be hard to find#but if ur just typing a couple sentences into a prompt box ur not an artist and that isnt ur art#and if its a bot thats been fed nonconsenting artists’ work to spit out then yeahh its stealing i’m sorry#and stop using disabled ppl as an excuse for lazy content theft bcz i know 90% of u r abled or at best have a disability that doesn’t affec#ur ability to create art in the slightest#idk kinda went on a rant here lol
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me when i ship zhaohan 😔 there's next to no content unless i'm just not looking in the right spots
be the change you want to see in the world my man.... if i can trick people into thinking masadai is real then i know you can rally the troupes with them lovable goobers......
#snap chats#zhao and yeonsu ARE cute to me tho thats the thing. theyre so sillay#i dont have many ideas with them but i love drawing them together when i get the motivation#i love drawing zhao and joon-gi honestly since Like Ichi i draw them kinda differently from everyone else#/kinda differently/ zhao's a foot tall motherfucker#BUT NO with joon-gi i want him to be a bishounen protag... so it's fun giving him all those sparklies and anime energy...#tho it'd be more appropriate to go for a manhwa art style huh#something to practice me thinks...#REGARDLESS i believe in you anon..... get that propaganda flowing you'll gather a small group in no time...#if you're sick enough in the head <- me#oh but if you arnet confident or know what to do yet !!!! pixiv and twitter generally has a good amount of art for them#i know i happen upon zhao and joon-gi art when i scroll through twitter sometimes#of course you have to follow eastern artists but they ALWAYS have The Best And Most Delicious Shit#they never miss they're the only artists i follow on twitter im p sure LMAO#if you don't know what artists to follow on twitter though pixiv's your best friend#some people are scared of her but not me...... i'm too numb to everything... plus she does have a LOT of good stuff there#'趙ハン' is the zhaohan tag on there. there's 101 works but i know not every thing is tagged sometimes#like a lot of arakawa fam stuff isn't tagged 'arakawa family' or even 'arakawa'- just generally 'yakuza' or 'rgg' and stuff like that#just gotta do a lil digging my friend ! best of luck to you ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
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FUCKING DYING OVER THIS
ANYWAYS HERES THE REST OF MY WRAPPED
#okay so i normally try and use spotify just because the wrapped is fun#but after around maybe march of this year i decided eh whatever youtube does a similar thing and i dont care to force myself to use spotify#so that is why my things are like that#though honestly like the top artists probably wouldnt have been that different it i did use it though#every time im like hmmm what should i listen to i just pull up day6#actually think itd be fun to make my own wrapped#like what i think ive collectively listened to the most this year#i might have to do that#sstartalkss
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